okay pat passed out under dana's car
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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