The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
