we have pet lesbian snakes
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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