I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
