i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
