I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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