What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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