Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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