I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
