sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
