Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
