Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
