I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Randomize
