Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
