doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
