I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
