My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
