You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize