Moan for me like Helen Keller
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize