how do flat chested girls get laid?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
