nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
