i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
