i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
