ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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