Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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