you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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