I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
