What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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