This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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