I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize