eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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