i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
