therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
