i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
