I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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