Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
