Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
smell my finger.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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