she was so not down for the gang bang
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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