just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
