You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
