No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
