Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
