Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
