Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
