Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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