I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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