I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize