who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
