He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
