We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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