Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize