you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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