I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
