this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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