just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just cut my nipple shaving
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
