I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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