I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She even gives head with a lisp.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize