I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
