Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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