I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she looked like the before picture.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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