We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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