I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
